What is Friendship? Let Me Tell You the Story of Barbara June

  I have had some people ask me recently what at first might seem an odd question. However, I am convinced it is very important. What is friendship? Some may giggle to think that someone wouldn’t understand what a friendship is, but you won’t when you are done with this article. A Definition of Friendship [...]

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Fall

Life as a multiple has many aspects that we share in common with others who live with the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder. But besides the existence of alters and the chaos that brings, I think the anxiety that comes with DID is one of the hardest. The anxiety I’m speaking about here isn’t from [...]

PDF of One of My Books

Before I get started I wanted to say something. I'm fully aware that offering this book here free is going to kill any chance I have of sales on Amazon. I don't make much there anyway on it, so I guess that is fine right? I'm more interested in helping as many people as I [...]

A New Post That’s Not New-Locus of Control

I posted this over a year ago and thought I'd review, fix and rerelease it to you. Many of you were not following me then, but the message is powerful and poignant. Enjoy. Shirley Locus of control is a state of mind where we place our belief in how the outcomes of our lives happen [...]

Ever Year My Birthday is a Miracle

On September 4, 1980, I made a pact that could have cost me my life. I decided that if I didn’t see any progress in my life and still felt horrible, I’d die by suicide on September 4, 1990. You see, that is my birthday. My Life Was Messy  I was so sick inside from [...]

Family-To-Family Classes Through NAMI

I am a member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, or as it is commonly called NAMI. This group is a grassroots organization dedicated to helping those who live with mental health conditions and their families. Their secondary goal is to end the stigma that often accompanies a mental health diagnosis. I belong to [...]

Support Me on Patreon!

Hi everyone. I wanted to announce here that I am on Patreon. My reasoning is simple, I need to earn some money to keep my WordPress account up to date. By February 12th of next year, I will need to earn $200 to pay for my WordPress page. That may sound like a lot of [...]

The Walls Between Us

Living with dissociative identity disorder is very hard a majority of the time. The intrusive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can make our lives hell. To make matters worse, singletons (people who do not have the diagnosis of DID) don’t understand our plight. It’s not that people don’t care, they just find our disorder intriguing at [...]

Just Like You, I’m Only Human

If you have been watching for and reading my blog recently I'm sure you have noticed I have been struggling. I've written posts that are full of real emotion and not holding back. I think this honest is crucial to help others who live with the effects of any kind of traumatic experience(s). You see, [...]

A Nowhere Man?

I’ve written on this blog about the road less taken many times before. However, there are so many aspects and thoughts I have concerning it, I had to write another post. Some consider the somewhere they are reaching for to be heaven, some nirvana, some consider it blinking into nothingness. That’s not what I’m really [...]

Whose Getting Old? Me, That’s Who

Tomorrow evening I am attending the 40th anniversary of my high school graduating class. This will be the first time I have been in the presence of most of the people I went to school with for that length of time. I  Never Belonged--Anywhere I wish I could say I was super excited or thrilled [...]

A Funny Page to Say, Thank You!

I wanted to do something special for you today, so I am giving you a funny page. This page is themed around (surprise!) baseball. I happen to love the game myself and have backed the Cubs since the 1980s. Enjoy! And thanks again for your patience while I regrouped. I feel much better!f Shirley First [...]

We are Vapors

Nearly all my life I have had the feeling that life is forcing me along. I sometimes get the distinct feeling of a rope that is attached to me and that life is pulling me along against my will. I think it began when I was a child and the forced motion has increased as [...]

When Fantasy is Your Only Friend

***Possibly Triggering Material*** Growing up in an abusive home, children often find they have nowhere to go and no place to turn. So, they turn to their imaginations to help them cope. I’m writing this post out of my own experiences with the pretend world I lived in as a kid. I’ll try not to [...]

Replacing the Old Tapes with New

Every adult human has them. Those voices in the back of your consciousness silently telling you of your worth. The tapes are recorded by your parents, teachers, and friends and never be erased. If you are lucky, they tell you that you are lovely, intelligent and worthy of love. However, if you grew up in [...]