Waiting for the Other Shoe to Fall

Life as a multiple has many aspects that we share in common with others who live with the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder. But besides the existence of alters and the chaos that brings, I think the anxiety that comes with DID is one of the hardest. The anxiety I’m speaking about here isn’t from [...]

The Walls Between Us

Living with dissociative identity disorder is very hard a majority of the time. The intrusive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can make our lives hell. To make matters worse, singletons (people who do not have the diagnosis of DID) don’t understand our plight. It’s not that people don’t care, they just find our disorder intriguing at [...]

A Nowhere Man?

I’ve written on this blog about the road less taken many times before. However, there are so many aspects and thoughts I have concerning it, I had to write another post. Some consider the somewhere they are reaching for to be heaven, some nirvana, some consider it blinking into nothingness. That’s not what I’m really [...]

Whose Getting Old? Me, That’s Who

Tomorrow evening I am attending the 40th anniversary of my high school graduating class. This will be the first time I have been in the presence of most of the people I went to school with for that length of time. I  Never Belonged--Anywhere I wish I could say I was super excited or thrilled [...]

We are Vapors

Nearly all my life I have had the feeling that life is forcing me along. I sometimes get the distinct feeling of a rope that is attached to me and that life is pulling me along against my will. I think it began when I was a child and the forced motion has increased as [...]

Research Backs Up the Truth: Parents Who Are Invalidating Harm Kids

I was reading my email this morning and came across an article that proved what I've said here about being invalidated in childhood.  In the article on Psychology Today    I found a piece backing up what we who were the victims of this kind of treatment have always known, it damaged us. Granted, the article [...]

When Fantasy is Your Only Friend

***Possibly Triggering Material*** Growing up in an abusive home, children often find they have nowhere to go and no place to turn. So, they turn to their imaginations to help them cope. I’m writing this post out of my own experiences with the pretend world I lived in as a kid. I’ll try not to [...]

Replacing the Old Tapes with New

Every adult human has them. Those voices in the back of your consciousness silently telling you of your worth. The tapes are recorded by your parents, teachers, and friends and never be erased. If you are lucky, they tell you that you are lovely, intelligent and worthy of love. However, if you grew up in [...]

Attachment to the Perpetrator

In my research that I have been doing for my book on attachment disorders, I was reminded of a subject I believe I have yet to tackle here on this site. Attachment to the perpetrator sounds like a disorder on its own, but it is the natural consequence of children who are being reared by [...]

“Normal” is in the Eye of the Beholder

In this article, I am going to examine the differences between the realities of one living with the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder and those whom we in the DID community call singletons. Also, using my own experiences in therapy, I’m going to talk about how I discovered this divergence and what had to occur [...]

Surviving Treatment

  I have often told people that surviving the treatment for dissociative identity disorder was as hard as surviving the trauma that caused it. I thought I’d write a piece explaining what I mean by this statement.   Entering the Flames of Hell   Somewhere in late 1989, when I was twenty-nine years old, I [...]

To All My Fellow Warriors Out There Today

    https://youtu.be/gZFjauf_hZg

Being an Invisible Child

I am facing my forty-year graduating class anniversary dinner in August. Such an event usually causes people to look forward to speaking with and seeing the people with which you went to school.   For me the prospect brings back memories and emotions that are not lovely.   I can remember moving to Illinois from [...]

Important Facts About Childhood Trauma