My Birthday Funny Page

10

Okay, I’m very aware that my birthday was last Tuesday (the 4th) but I wanted to celebrate with a funny page anyway. Besides, we could all use a few laughs after all the interesting news in my country, the US, and around the world this week.

So, sit back and have a belly laugh on me. Shirley

Pun Riddles

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.

Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You’re a fun guy

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get an earring?
A: About a buck an ear

Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse.

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.

Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A: A bunny ribbit.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9.

9

Don’t laugh, have you ever tried to dance on a pole? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

 

Only A Mother Would Know

A snake kid asks his mom, “Mom, are we poisonous?”

His mother says, “Why do you want to know?”

The snake kid says, “because I just bit my tongue.”

7

Yep, that’s me. I ALWAYS get water everywhere when I do dishes!

 

Free at Last

After many years, a prisoner is finally released.
He runs around yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”

A little kid walks up to him and says, “So what? I’m 4.”

3

Hey! Just saying! Boogie Mona, Boogie!

 

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day to survive. It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.

 

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”

Student: “A drinking problem.”

6

Laugh, but Godzilla got started this way!

 

Nurse: “We need a stool sample and a urine sample.”

Man to wife: “What did she say?”

Wife to husband: “They want your underwear.”

2

Who took the last ice cream bar from the freezer? Huh?

 

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he’s still making fun of me.

4

Yep, that’s me he’s talking about on my favorite funny movie, Airplane. Sheesh, I am old!

 

1

Enough fun for one day, you may all lie down now.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “My Birthday Funny Page

  1. Thank YOU for the presents you give me, Shirley! Wishing you a useful productive and enjoyable year…. with occasional delightful surprises! TS

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