Okay, I’m very aware that my birthday was last Tuesday (the 4th) but I wanted to celebrate with a funny page anyway. Besides, we could all use a few laughs after all the interesting news in my country, the US, and around the world this week.
So, sit back and have a belly laugh on me. Shirley
Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.
Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You’re a fun guy
Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get an earring?
A: About a buck an ear
Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse.
Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.
Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A: A bunny ribbit.
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9.
Don’t laugh, have you ever tried to dance on a pole? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Only A Mother Would Know
A snake kid asks his mom, “Mom, are we poisonous?”
His mother says, “Why do you want to know?”
The snake kid says, “because I just bit my tongue.”
Yep, that’s me. I ALWAYS get water everywhere when I do dishes!
Free at Last
After many years, a prisoner is finally released.
He runs around yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”
A little kid walks up to him and says, “So what? I’m 4.”
Hey! Just saying! Boogie Mona, Boogie!
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day to survive. It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?”
Student: “A drinking problem.”
Laugh, but Godzilla got started this way!
Nurse: “We need a stool sample and a urine sample.”
Man to wife: “What did she say?”
Wife to husband: “They want your underwear.”
Who took the last ice cream bar from the freezer? Huh?
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he’s still making fun of me.
Yep, that’s me he’s talking about on my favorite funny movie, Airplane. Sheesh, I am old!
Enough fun for one day, you may all lie down now.