The President’s Day Humor Page 2018

Laughter on President’s Day 2018

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I needed to have some fun and blow off some steam, so I decided to make a funny page for President’s Day 2018. I hope you enjoy this page as much as I enjoyed making it. Shirley

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Presidential Quips by Late Night

“President Obama said last night that he treated his last State of the Union address just like his first, because he’s ‘just as hungry.’ Probably because he’s only been allowed to eat kale for the last seven years.” –Seth Meyers

“President Obama gave a speech in Chicago this afternoon and told police they have ‘work to do to restore trust’ in minority communities. It was going pretty well, but halfway through the speech, Obama got pulled over.” –Seth Meyers

“Republicans in Congress are getting concerned that President Obama will try to use the final year of his term to push through too many controversial laws. Obama would’ve responded but he was busy drafting his new ‘mandatory Mexican gay weed’ bill.”

–Jimmy Fallon

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LOL

Little Suzy once asked her mother, “Do people who never tell lies go to heaven?” “Yes, her mother answered. “They are the only ones.” “Gosh, I bet it’s lonesome up there with just God and George Washington,” said Suzy.

 

Presidential Quotes to Remember

Jimmy Carter, riffing at the 1979 correspondents’ dinner about the old White House indoor swimming pool that Richard Nixon covered over to build the press room

Press Secretary Jody Powell “has been trying to persuade me to reopen the White House swimming pool — suddenly. . . Any of you that survive would, of course, have permanent swimming privileges.”

Andrew Johnson

“Washington, D.C., is twelve square miles bordered by reality.”

Abraham Lincoln

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

Franklin Pierce, when asked about a president’s duties after leaving office

“There’s nothing left. . . but to get drunk.”

 

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That’s modern times for you!!!

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I bet he wished he could have done just this, get down to his favorite tunes to forget his presidential woes!

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Speaks for itself and about half the country.

 

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And Now for Something Completely Different

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.

“What’s the matter, Mr. President?” The Vice President inquired.

“Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The President beamed.

“How long did it take you?”

“Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”

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And The Bill Clinton Jokes Continue, Its an  American Tradition

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton’s asks excitedly: “Do we have time?

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Hey President Reagan thought that one was funny!

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Harry Truman Quote

Harry Truman, when he was U.S President, once addressed the Washington Garden Club and kept referring to ‘good manure’ that must be used on flowers. Some society ladies complained (later) to the First Lady Margaret Truman, “Bess, can’t you get the President to say fertilizer instead of manure?”

The First Lady replied, “Heavens, it took me 25 years to get him to say ‘manure’.”

 

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Now that’s what I call a Presidential race!!!

 

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It’s over! Oh no! Ugh!!!!!

 

Always Please Remember!

Remember, the office of President of the United States has survived for over 200 years with both good and bad people coming and going. It will persevere into the future so long as we the people stand together united under one flag and inseparable.

Now, We Have To Play the President’s Song!

 

 

Good night all, and may God bless America!!!