A Little Star Trek Anyone?

Okay, I’ve officially gone around the bend!

Hi everyone! I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure right now with juggling five classes, freelance writing, and writing my blog. Whew! I needed to laugh so I thought I’d share some really funny stuff with you.

Here’s the results! You’ll think I’ve gone around the bend for sure! LOL

Enjoy these Star Trek jokes and try not to laugh too hard!!

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You Might Be a Trekkie If!

  • your fantasy includes Lt. Uhura sitting on the edge of your bed saying, “Hailing frequencies open”…
  • you think that Captain Janeway is sexier than Princess Leia…
  • your screen saver says, “Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated”…
  • you find yourself in a jam and say “Scotty, beam me up!”…
  • someone says good morning to you and you answer, “Ka Plah!”…
  • you know the proper Vulcan greeting and response…
  • your girlfriend tells you “it’s either me or Star Trek!” and you wave good-bye…
  • you wrote in James T. Kirk for President with running mate Pavel Chekov…
  • you walk into your kitchen and look for a replicator…
  • you can tell the difference between a Vulcan and a Romulan…
  • you can name all the people who have ever been captain of the Enterprise…
  • you think Q-Tips is a self-help book written by a certain Star Trek villain…
  • you have the Klingon version of Hooked on Phonics…
  • you find a hairball and think it’s a Tribble…
  • you believe there is an alternate universe where you are captain of the Enterprise…
  • you learned to pick up women by watching Captain Kirk…
  • you keep flipping open your cell phone hoping to get a communique from Scotty…
  • you hear someone say, “he’s an enterprising young man,” and you look for his communicator…
  • you get in your car and say engage…

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What does toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common????

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons!

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Did You Ever Wonder?

How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.

What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?
Execute him for cowardice.

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How About This One?

How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

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Chickens in Star Trek? Why Not?

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

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I Wonder What the Enterprise Crew Would Say About that Chicken Crossing the Road?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Dr. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! I’m a doctor not an farmer!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Data: Why is a barnyard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Worf: For the honor of all chickens.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Counsilor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. I could sense it.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Computer: Insufficient information.

Q: Have you read the book “Damn it Jim”?
A: It’s by: Ima Doctor and Nada Bricklayer.

Q: Have you read the book “Chekov: The Navigator”?
A: It’s by: I. Kiptin

Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A: A croaking device.

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We all Know Kirk!

Then there was the time Janice Rand complained that someone had cut a peephole into her cabin door.

Captain Kirk promised to look into it.

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What About Dr. McCoy?

The new ensign reported to sickbay for her physical. When stripped, Dr. McCoy nodded approvingly. “You look nice and trim.

“Thanks,” she answered. “I weigh one hundred pounds stripped for gym.”

McCoy shook his head. “That guy has all the luck!”

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Here’s a Question for You!

How many members of the USS Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

The answer is Four.

Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say
“I canna do it, Cap’n! These bulbs are stoon dead”,
Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically,
McCoy to say, “They’re dead, Jim!” and “Dammit Jim-I’m a doctor not an electrician!!”,
Kirk to screw it in, and two red-shirt security men to die in the process.
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I Saw This One on YouTube and Had To Share! LOL

 

 

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As Monty Python would say, “And Now for something completely different”

That’s the End!

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Thank you for commenting! Shirley