I realize just the title of this blog post will turn people away, they can’t or won’t read what I have to say on this subject. The problem with this kind of sticking our head in the sand attitude, is that a problem that is not acknowledged is not solvable. Any recovering alcoholic or drug addict will tell you, the first step in defeating a problem, is to admit it exists.
The Stats are Staggering and Sobering
You will see in a stats laden page below, that there are approximately 49,742 women perpetrators of sexual abuse in the United States alone. That’s a huge number of women, and not only this but these are only the people who are turned in as abusers, this number does not include the women who perpetrate these crimes and their victims remain silent.
The stats get even worse when you view how many boys and girls are known to have been sexually molested by women. Every year 8,467,169 male children and 3,486,481 female children between the ages of 0-18 are molested by women every year. Again, these are only the KNOWN cases. If you are wondering, that totals up to 11,953,650 children whose innocence is ripped from them by female perpetrators.
Although It Is Hard, We Must End the Abuse of Our Children
I know, this is hard to talk about, but we must band together to find a way to end this hideous blight on our society.
Some might even be thinking, “What’s the problem with women molesting children anyway? Won’t the kids outgrow and forget what happened when they are older? Surely women can’t harm children as much as men! I mean, they don’t have penises, so they can’t penetrate the girls or make the boys give them oral sex, so how much harm can they really be doing?”
Believing Lies Endangers the Innocent
Those beliefs, that children cannot be harmed by a woman sexual predator are not only alarming, they are universal. To make matters worse, there are many who refuse to believe that a mother would ever perform sex or request sex from their own children. Unfortunately, this last belief is the most damaging to the children who are being harmed.
What really happens to a child when they are grown who has experienced sexual predation from their mother or other female relative?
If you thought the above numbers were startling, let me ask you to brace for the following information.
According to the US Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health website, there is a link between men who grow up to become sexual predators and those who have been sexually molested in their own childhood by a female relative. A high percentage of men who were studied who were abused by female sexual predators became abusers themselves. That isn’t the only horrible thing to happen to grown-up survivors of sexual predation by women.
A child’s experiences when they are growing up are a huge influence on how these victims perceive the world. As someone who experienced a female relative’s abuse, I can say first-hand that the confusion and altered emotional states caused by this crime are many and never ending.
Below I’m going to list just a few of the effects that can carry into adulthood from childhood sexual trauma.
Self-Esteem issues. The survivor may feel a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and like they don’t belong in the world. They may have a deep sense that their birth was a mistake, and they should die. They may see themselves as unworthy of any good things, and either they will isolate away from others, or they will feel so needy they will be in one relationship after another.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. This disorder cannot be pushed under the rug as unimportant. People who live with its effects can tell you it is misery. The things done to survivors when they are children CANNOT and WILL NOT be forgotten by them when they are adults. Perhaps they may have suppressed the memories of the molestation, but somewhere in their brain is burned the details of the emotions and feelings they felt while the perpetrator was harming them. These memories surface in nightmares, flashbacks, and dissociation.
Depression. People who have been sexually molested as children are four times more likely to be diagnosed with major depression. Depression is no joke, and it cannot be cured by just forcing themselves to get better. It is a serious and potentially deadly problem. The internal conflicts brought on by feelings of guilt and rage about their being sexually used by someone who was supposed to be their caregiver is enormous. If not treated, many will die by suicide.
Dissociative Disorders. These disorders include depersonalization, derealization, and at the far extreme of the spectrum, dissociative identity disorder. Living with a dissociative disorder is horrific. Many lose time, don’t remember important events and have a severely altered sense of identity.
Problems in relationships. Both men and women who were abused by women perpetrators suffer from isolation. Yes, they may have been married once or a dozen times, but because they lack the skills to relate to their partners, these relationships do not last. They sometimes prefer to be alone rather with other people, because they feel safer alone.
Anxiety Disorders. Because sexual abuse is threatening and disruptive, children often develop a sense of insecurity and don’t believe the world is a safe place. This belief system expresses itself in adulthood as anxiety. One is hyperalert and afraid of things that others don’t notice. This anxiety can manifest itself as panic attacks in adulthood. These overwhelming attacks make the person feel like they are going to die or that they have lost their mind.
Anger issues. Children who have been molested by their female caregivers, may be left in adulthood with extreme anger issues. Although the person who harmed them may no longer be alive, the anger persists and can spill out into the survivor’s home and work life.
Child Molestation Not Only Exists, It is Tragic
As you can clearly see, molestation by women not only exists, it is a tragic crime that leaves children hopeless to grow up to be neurotic and disturbed adults.
I am going to write more about this hard to read subject in the future, not because I wish the women who harmed me any harm, but because this is a tragedy that must stop. So long as we, as a society, continue to ignore the fact that women can and do indeed, harm children by sexually abusing them, this crime will go on and future generations will suffer.
Please Help the Children
Please, help the children. Stop child abuse in any form in its tracks by acting. If you see or suspect a child of being molested by either a man or a woman, don’t remain silent. Speak up for that child’s safety.
The children of the United States are its future, and we will be judged by how we manage, or don’t, this silent crisis.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Resources for This Blog Post
According to http://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/statistics-on-perpetrators-of-csa 14% of boys and 6% of girl victims of sexual abuse were abused by female perpetrators.
According to the website https://www.childmolestationprevention.org/pages/tell_others_the_facts.html:
1/20 men and 1/3300 women are child sexual predators.
The total population of the US as of 2015 is 323,127,513 people
63.3% are adults over the age of 18
50.8% of the adult population of the US are female
49.2% of the adult population of the US are male
164,148,777 adult women in the US
158,978,736 adult men in the US
49,742 women perpetrators of sexual abuse.
7,948,937 male perpetrators of sexual abuse.
7,998,679 Adult perpetrators of sexual abuse.
Number of children in the US according to the 2016 census
51% of these children are male
49% of these children are female
60,479,777 are male
58,108,021 are female
Women sexual predators abuse:
8,467,169 male children every year (between 0-18)
3,486,481 female children every year (between 0-18)
That means 11,953,650 children of either sex are molested sexually, by a female perpetrator every year in the United States that are reported.
There is a direct link between men who grow up to become sexual predators and those who have been sexually molested in their own childhood by a female relative.
A high percentage of men who were studied who were abused by female sexual predators became abusers themselves.
Another resource with staggering information about the long-term effects of child molestation.